staystrong

Spoonie Poem

Symptom 1 and Symptom 2,

This one’s old, that one’s new.

I thought my body was mine to rule

But it looks like I’m again the fool.

One thing goes wrong after another,

And I’m left attached, feeling smothered.

Brought to my knees again tonight,

Crying, aching, giving up the fight.

If I could sleep it might improve,

But late at night I cannot snooze.

Spoonie life is hard to take,

I may bend but I’ll never break.

xo
Courtney

ps- whoever’s photo I am using as the feature photo please let me know if you see this so I can give credit!

Read More

20160615_125334

Oh The Things You’ll Miss

I’m Sorry!
Today’s not your day.
You’re not going anywhere!
Sit down and stay right there!

You have brains in your head.
That much is true.
But brain fog makes you doubt your IQ.
You’re on your own. Yet you need assistance.
This may be quite a sad existence.

You’ll look at Facebook posts from friends,
And see how their fun never ends
Their lives seem full of choices and opportunity
While yours is filled with immune system mutiny.

And you may not find any common ground
With people you used to hang around
Your life has been changed from the norm
It is like being altered from your original form.

But not all change is worthy of despair,
Because you have gained new insights to share.

Perspectives are altered as illnesses progress,
Managing medications and appointments in excess.
These allow you to grow in ways you couldn’t have expected,
A new experience with every hospital band collected.

And then your heart grows and grows
With each new spoonie you get to know
Ask questions and share your tale,
Of illness woes and medical fails

OH!
THE THINGS YOU’LL GAIN!

You’re on your way to chronic success!
You now have medical aids and Netflix to obsess!
You’ll join the ranks of chronic warriors
who never turn down a fight!

You won’t always enjoy this life,
You’ll cry tears of pain, exhaustion and fear..
But know you’re not alone in this battle,
Whatever you are going through, we are here.

The things you’ll miss are plenty,
From parties, concerts, and plays.
It seems unfair because it is.
But this is the chronic fighter way.
It’s not always the most fun, that’s for sure.
But what we lack in fun, we make up for in heart.
Sheer will, determination, sense of humor, and hope for a cure!

 

My revamped version of Dr. Seuess’ “Oh The Places You’ll Go”

Read More

Tally-Marks

I’ve Lost Track.

Good Morning!

I’m sorry I’m over a week late for this, but I have updated the Song of the Week page (finally!) and it’s a pretty good one, if I do say so myself!

These illnesses have taken so much from me, limiting me to the point where I feel like a prisoner in my apartment, bedroom, and body.

I have lost track of the things these illnesses have taken from me.
I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve cursed these conditions, this body, and God.

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve said “I can’t do this anymore” and thought that I meant it.
I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve wanted to quit my life, and thought I would.

I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve prayed for the pain to end.
I’ve lost track of the number of times I’ve prayed for my life to end.

I’ve lost track of the number of days I’ve been unable to work a job I loved.
I’ve lost track of the number of friends I’ve lost because nobody wants to deal with this.

I’ve lost track of the number of tears I’ve cried and profanities I’ve spewed.
I’ve lost track of medications I’ve taken and the side effects I’ve endured.

I’ve lost track of the plan for the life I thought I would have.
I’ve gained an appreciation for the life I have now.

I’ve lost the need to plan, because I lost the life that could be planned.
I’ve gained friends along the way who have opened my eyes.

And I’m thankful for the journey.

Love,

Courtney

 

Read More

Twas the Life of a Spoonie

‘Twas the life of a spoonie when all through the house

She was pacing and crying, disturbing the mouse

Not a dish was done, or a floor that was washed

But there was snow on the drive, on the window was frost

She crawled to the table to reach for the phone

While waiting she listened to the dial tone

Who was she phoning this late at night?

Refilling her meds to help keep her upright!

She turned on one heating pad at a time,

Smiling, she told herself she was fine.

She needed rest but it was holiday season,

If Christmas was ruined, this wouldn’t be the reason!

Rubbing creams and popping pills

Throbbing, stabbing, painful still.

She knows she’s not feeling great,

But alas, she shrugs, crying can wait.

Merry Christmas, Spoonie Friends!

Remember this season will soon end.

 

Love you, Warriors.

Read More