I could spend this whole blog post apologizing for the fact that I haven’t posted anything in almost a year. I could fixate on the fact that my last two posts were basically me apologizing for my absence as my posting was pretty staggered to begin with. I could apologize, and I will, because I am sorry. But I also want to touch on a huge part of being chronically ill; the fact that we can rarely, if ever, make promises.
As a rule, the memory of a Spoonie can be somewhat unreliable. Brain fog is no joke, people.
But try for a moment, to remember what life was like before everything changed. Can you remember a time where you did not need help arising from bed or a chair? Was there a day you can look back on where sleep came easily and you were not nauseated? Is there a day you can recall when life was easier than it is now? When was the moment everything went downhill?
What happened and why?
If one more person says “everything happens for a reason” or “God only gives you what you can handle” or “it could be worse” I might just lose my mind.
But, could they be right?