Fight! Fight! Fight!

Reading these words, written in this way, seems like something high school kids shout in a formed circle around two bloody-nosed kids who are roughing each other up to appear stronger, tougher, and more bad ass than the other. Looking back, those kids probably didn’t know what they were fighting for, or even about for that matter.

But I know what I am fighting every morning when I wake up. I know what I’m fighting against based on my symptoms and the many diagnoses in my overflowing medical binder. I have many reasons to keep going when I look in my husband’s eyes and my nephew’s brilliant smile. I never know what the day will bring or where this journey will take me, but the one thing I do know is that I’m a fighter.
And this life, with this body, and these diagnoses is how I know I’ve been called to fight.  Read More

Practical Positivity

When I began writing about my Chronic Pain Problems I used the username On the Bright Side of Courtney because my goal was positivity. I wrote for a website called Positivity in Pain and I smiled and laughed my way through these illnesses… for one post. And then I could not move past the sadness I was feeling. I was having a really hard time faking happiness when I wasn’t feeling that way, but that only made me more upset. I am a writer! I can write joyfully! Right? Not at that time. Read More

Accountability

There are so many unpredictable things about chronic illnesses. You never know when you’re going to have a good day, or even a day where getting out of bed seems feasible.

Sometimes the idea of talking on the phone is overwhelming enough to induce a panic attack and other times you just ache to hear the ringtone.

There are days where the isolation is maddening but you are overwhelmingly exhausted and unable to socialize.

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