That’s how many days after it’s been since the day I did something fun.
Now back to the thing, or things, I did so many days ago that has since left me bedridden and praying for mercy…
Saturday was a great day; I ran the registration desk at The Arthritis Society’s Jingle Bell Walk/Run for Arthritis!, then I helped my husband (and by helped I mean probably was more in the way than helping) at work for an hour, and then we went to Costco, and then about a million other places and that’s why I’m in so much pain.
Adrenaline can be your best friend or your most fierce enemy. Adrenaline can make you feel like you’re a superhero while running errands out in the brave, wide world for the first time in who knows how long. But as soon as the adrenaline runs out you’re left in the hell of your own creation.
Pacing is not something I’ve ever been good at. I always have big plans for days where I don’t feel like total crud, and then am completely devastated for the days or weeks following. Which is where I am now. In so much pain it doesn’t seem possible or real. I keep putting in a 9 on the Manage My Pain app because I keep thinking it can’t get worse and I’m too scared to ever enter a 10.
But Saturday was such a good day. And I’m holding on to that.
Pacing will come in time, I know.