Reading these words, written in this way, seems like something high school kids shout in a formed circle around two bloody-nosed kids who are roughing each other up to appear stronger, tougher, and more bad ass than the other. Looking back, those kids probably didn’t know what they were fighting for, or even about for that matter.
But I know what I am fighting every morning when I wake up. I know what I’m fighting against based on my symptoms and the many diagnoses in my overflowing medical binder. I have many reasons to keep going when I look in my husband’s eyes and my nephew’s brilliant smile. I never know what the day will bring or where this journey will take me, but the one thing I do know is that I’m a fighter.
And this life, with this body, and these diagnoses is how I know I’ve been called to fight. There are physical fights, mental fights, verbal fights, non-verbal and emotional fights. Just about every type of fight that is possible, humans have found a way to excel at it.
Being the opinionated, defensive, often stubborn woman that I am, this medical fight that I’ve been battling has not been the first variation of fighting I’ve dabbled with. I’d love to say that made me prepared for this, but nobody can really prepare for waking up one day feeling sick and never getting better. I’d love to say that being the irritatingly defiant woman that I am has prepared me with a never-give-up spirit that makes living with chronic illnesses easier, but I don’t really know about that, either.
I will say that what may make this easier (in my opinion) is a community of support, a good sense of humour, an outlet to express your feelings, the occasional outing for fresh air, bath bombs, and a Netflix subscription.
I know those don’t sound like the typical fight necessities, but it’s what I’ve found that works for me. I imagine that some days the Rocky soundtrack can’t hurt, but that’s up for debate.
So put on your pink boxing gloves and put on some running shoes, because this fight is for life. Thankfully, there’s more people behind you than behind the other guy(s).
Forever Your Partner in Fight